Rulebreaker Ruler
by frozenseed
Summary: -Post Apocrypha AU- It was official. He had become even more unlucky than the Hero of Charity himself. It was bad enough to find out his lifelong effort that culminated in a Great Holy Grail War had actually ended up in vain. But on his way back to his spot in the corner of Throne of Heroes to sulk, Alaya deemed him out of nowhere as the highest level threat to humanity... WTF!
1. friends

**Yea, I know I should be working on Resonance of Fates. That story is still very far from over, but I feel like I couldn't fully put my focus back on it until I give this stupid new idea a try. As I mentioned in RoF, I'm not the most knowledgeable of Fate/ lore and universe. And since this is an AU, I would not limit myself from making up a few things for the sake of the plot. Still, I am committed to make it somewhat believable. Now here it is. As usual, English is not my main language, but hopefully it wouldn't affect the story that much and make it seem even more stupid.**

**01**

* * *

Counter Guardians... the so called Protectors of Balance.

In actuality, they were just weapons enslaved by Alaya to do dirty works in Its overzealous effort to preserve mankind's survival at all cost. No one in their right mind would want to be a part of them. That was why all of the members were practically desperate individuals who had obviously not been in their right mind. In most cases, Alaya offered them aid in bleak times in exchange of 'just' their loyalty. There were also not unheard of cases of Alaya luring defeated villains with another option beside hell in exchange of again 'just' their loyalty. It was said, however, additionally there was one very rare and special case...

The immense power of the Counter Forces was undeniable.

However, even Alaya acknowledged the possibility of threats that could inflict serious damage to humanity as a whole and would continue to try as long as they existed. Such threats demanded complete elimination from existence, something beyond Counter Guardians' capacity. For that reason, Alaya had to use Its own raw power to accomplish the deed. The problem arose then when the threat, as hard as it was to believe, appeared in the form of man. As the Counter Force embodying the will of mankind, it was not a simple matter for Alaya to just erase the existence of someone who was technically still a part of mankind.

Thus, one last chance was given...

To not risk further damage, Alaya had to forcefully take the detected threat out of the flow of time and existence in the world, educate them, and turn them into a weapon if possible. A warning was given, however. Only one insubordination was required for Alaya's 'goodwill' to be void. If that happened, the threat would no longer be deemed as a part of mankind.

Now guess who was this unlucky so called threat then...

A certain random priest who might as well have an even worse personal luck than the legendary Hero of Charity himself.

This had got to be a mistake... a seriously stupid mistake...

The last time the 'harmless and benevolent' Amakusa Shirou remembered, he was laying peacefully on his Servant's lap with a beautiful sunset in the distance. Oh it was such a blissful ending to his saga. That sweet goodbye kiss from her that just so happened to be his very first kiss was a pleasant surprise as well. Oh that feisty Queen of Assyria! Her loyalty much less affection were something he had never expected to receive. He would never forget her even though he sadly couldn't see her that way. All in all, he couldn't have asked for a better final send off from the world of the living.

Then it happened.

It was hard to accept already when it quickly dawned on him that all his lifelong effort that culminated in the Great Holy Grail War had actually ended up in vain. But on his way back to the Throne of Heroes, amidst the disappointment, he felt his spirit, including his remaining existence in there, was suddenly snatched away by an invisible force. It was Alaya, he quickly realized. And it was confirmed soon later when Its ethereal voice invaded his mind, kindly telling him that he had shown how much of a threat he was to humanity...

SERIOUSLY?!

He wished he could curse as artfully as the mighty Rider of Red, but since he was just a random priest, he could only say that it was like a slap in the face. Still, that alone should be enough to show how offended he was. How could he not? He, who had forsaken his sense of self and dedicated all his being for the salvation of humanity, was being accused of such a preposterous thing? He, who was more than willing to bear all the sins in the world and go to the deepest reaches of hell for humanity?!

... Not his fault Alaya could not differentiate between mankind and humanity.

It was understandable, he supposed, that the embodiment of the will of mankind would justify anything to make sure mankind's survival. He also admitted that in a sense, he had indeed intended to wipe out mankind as they presently were with his plan. But it was only because unlike Alaya who turned a blind eye to mankind's flaws and corruptions for the sake of their survival, he acknowledged them and knew how too far gone it had become. Thus he deemed it necessary to initiate a complete salvation in a last ditch effort to save the true value of mankind that had been forsaken and abused over and over again for so long.

Humanity.

It had to be an unforgivable sin in the eye of God, but to preserve humanity, this broken servant of His was willing to bear such a sin alone. He was willing to practically end the lives of all mankind so they could ascend into beings hopefully deserving of humanity. It was such a heresy, he knew that. Only God Himself had the right to decide such a thing. But he just couldn't help it...

Once, he had half-jokingly thought that perhaps not unlike Alaya that embodied the will of mankind, he could be considered as the one that embodied the will of humanity. Though if that was true, as absurd as it was, poor humanity had failed miserably. He was just a random priest at best and an incompetent Heroic Spirit at worst. He was weak as dirt compared to the all powerful Counter Forces that he couldn't help but think that Alaya had gone senile for considering him even worth its notice. The thought that he warranted a special treatment for the absurd level of threat he probably possessed was just... stupid.

Plain and simple.

He couldn't take the whole predicament seriously even more when the whole 'formalities' were done, he got told that first and foremost, he was enlisted into an academy... Yes... A freaking academy...

Alaya's Counter Guardian Academy **(AsCGA)**

... He was not joking as much as he wished it to be a joke.

As it seemed, before ones could be deployed into eternal slavery, they had to be educated first. Well, at the very least, they were not forced to wear some stupid school uniform. He could take a bit of comfort in the all familiar priest attire he had as simply Father Shirou. And he needed it because the first instructor that attended his class on his first day here was one hell scary old lady who despite her frail appearance, was actually a veteran first-rate Counter Guardian.

The Ranking of Counter Guardians, that was what he had first learned here. A fresh graduate would become a sixth-rate after the initiation. They could then raise through rank as they successfully performed missions. It was actually quite rare for ones to reach first-rate in their entire career before they eventually perished in the field of duty. However, there were select few who had even reached past the esteemed first-rate and become one of the revered elites. It was said those were the ones deemed worthy enough to gain an audience in person with the Avatar of Ayala...

Not that he could care less about such frivolous things.

He was too busy trying not to laugh out loud at the fact that raising through rank would only award some useless prestige and harder missions. There was no pay-raise in this career. In fact, there was no such things as payment here in Alaya's realm.

Again, pure slavery.

It was getting harder to keep from laughing in the middle of class. Fortunately, he was seated alone at the very back. He also seemed to be the only one here without a deskmate. Oh, not really... It was easy to miss what with the classroom full of mostly rugged grown-ups. Seriously, they all looked too intimidating to be called students. But as he took a better look around from his high perch at the back of the class, he noticed for the first time somehow, at the middle desk of the frontmost row, sat one student more intimidating than all of them combined. And it was most likely why everyone kept their distance.

Surprisingly enough, it was actually a very pretty girl even smaller than his permanent adolescent self... But the commanding presence she subconsciously emitted alone was enough to make others look past her delicate form despite not even knowing who she really was. He recognized her immediately, though, thanks to his still present Ruler's True Name Disenchantment skill.

There was no mistaking it... It was the fabled King of Knights herself. If she was here in Alaya's realm, that meant somewhere in an unknown timeline, her final wish had been fulfilled... And in return, her endless sacrifice had officially begun...

At this realization, he couldn't help giving her a soft, bittersweet look. He didn't pity her. Oh hell no! A worthless scum like him had absolutely no business to pity a most honorable hero like her. But still... Hopefully it was okay for him to at least discreetly show his genuine admiration to her...

It was amazing how she still managed to carry herself with all her dignity intact. It must be in her blood, projecting herself as a true king. Seeing the regally composed and serious look on her face, others would involuntary show her respect and even fear. Not that it pleased her or anything. He could see that clearly. In fact, he could see that it had the opposite effect. The special treatment made her feel sad whether she realized it or not.

The king was lonely...

Shirou was not sure what to do, though. For so long, he had been keeping others at distance, not letting even his kind foster father get close to him. It had been necessary. Everyone ever close to him met a tragic end eventually, no exception, and he always failed horribly to prevent it. Back then, there was also another reason. His grand plan demanded his full attention. He had no time for anything that would only serve as distraction. But now that it all had fallen into ruin, and he ended up here in a position where he had nothing left to lose...

Maybe, just maybe, this worthless scum could try to make a friend for once...

Too caught up in his deep thought, the normally highly perceptive boy failed to notice that the teacher's hawk-like gaze was on him. It took no time for the old lady, Mrs HAWLEY, to notice that his somewhat dreamy gaze was focused on a certain honor student instead of the lesson. And naturally, nothing stopped her from assuming the worst as she glowered menacingly.

"You the wimp with fluffy head!"

At her ferocious roar, everyone save for the serious honor student snapped to full attention at once. And strangely enough, they simultaneously turned to look at the target of her wrath then as if her absurd description was more than clear enough already. Though it seemed like only the aforementioned target himself found this strange as he blinked cluelessly.

"M- Me, ma'am?"

"Is there any other wimp here, much less one with bright, fluffy head like yours?!"

At once, low and barely contained snickers filled the classroom, and it made the poor boy start to feel nervous as he uncertainly checked his fluffy head.

"... I guess not?"

"Glad you notice. You're the new student, correct?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"And you, wimpy new student, the first time you attend my class, instead of paying attention, dare shamelessly ogle this year honor student?"

"Yes, ma'am!" In horror, he immediately covered his stupid mouth with his hands. "I - I mean, I was just looking at her figure in admiration..."

More snickers ensued, but the strict teacher found nothing amusing about the oblivious boy's answer.

"Looking in admiration, you say..." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "So you were really ogling her innocent figure?!"

"W- What?! NO! I swear I had no such an impure intention. I used to be an honest priest for God's sake!" His eyes wide in desperation. "I was really looking at her in a genuine, unadulterated admiration. Because even though this is the first time I meet her, I can already see that she's a truly admirable person."

Now, they all looked at him like he was a hopeless idiot stupidly unlucky enough to miraculously stumble into this realm. Except for the renown honor student. A soft giggle left her lips before she finally turned to look at him as well, and to to everyone's surprise, with a radiant smile on her lovely face.

How priceless...

It was enough to make him feel better in an instant. And in return, he offered her a smile of his own, the first genuine one he had shown in a very long time.

/

Sometime later in the cafeteria, a certain first year honor student could be found alone as usual at her 'private' table. It had become such a normal sight here. Outside the class, no one dared come close to her, much less bother her.

Even in a place where her past identity remained undisclosed, somehow her reputation preceded her. As a first year, she was still a relatively new face, but already, there were many predictions and expectations about her. No one doubted that she would eventually graduate at the very top and be mentored by an elite afterward. Some even believed that she would become an elite herself in record time.

Coupled with such a serious attitude, no wonder others chose to stay away from her.

But perhaps, the main reason they avoided her particularly in the cafeteria, was simply because of the thing that could always be found on her table during breaktime. Surely, the sight of a large tray filled with a mountainous assortment of cakes was enough to intimidate anyone, especially when they knew that it would all soon miraculously disappear into the petite girl's very slim belly...

Nevertheless, as discreet as they were, it hurt when others not only avoided her but also gave her weird looks. The only thing she could do to distract herself from her misery was stuff her cakes into her mouth even more vigorously. Though unfortunately, for some reason she just couldn't understand, it only resulted in even more weird looks!

This was so sad...

Oh Alaya, why was everyone here so mean to her?!

Except for that new boy...

The girl paused on her munching for a bit as she remembered him. He was such a dork, she thought with a chuckle. Understandable perhaps, since he looked to be several years her junior. The fact that he used to be a priest probably didn't help either. Honestly, she found him kind of endearing in that ludicrously cute way. Though it made her curious. How come such a seemingly innocent boy ended up here in a place reserved for hopeless souls?

Oh well, what mattered the most was, thanks to him, she could smile and laugh for the first time since she arrived here... since a long time in fact, as far as she could remember. She owed him her gratitude.

Unfortunately, he got berated further after class by Mrs HAWLEY and hadn't showed up since. Just as she looked up to check the entrance, however, she caught sight of a distinctive red coat amidst the crowd. Another smile quickly bloomed on her face then as soon as his understandably weary figure came into view. And before she could even think about it, she found herself waving at him albeit somewhat shyly.

In an instant, the boy's weariness seemed to be gone as his face lit up. He excitedly walked up to her, receiving weird stares along the way. He paid them no mind, though, because he soon gave her his undivided attention as he stood near her private table.

"Mind if I sit here?"

"Be my guest."

"Thanks!" He eagerly took one of the empty seats before offering her a handshake. "Amaku- Uh... Shirou. Just Shirou will do!"

His sudden awkwardness didn't go unnoticed by her, but it quickly slipped past her thought because she suddenly felt a strange sense of recognition at hearing his name. A puzzled frown lightly marred her features as she gently accepted the handshake.

"Arturia..." Her face flushed slightly then as she blinked. "I'm sorry. I just thought your name sounds familiar."

"Oh? What a coincidence! It was most likely someone else, though. I really doubt I'm that famous. And I'm sure I would've never forgotten such a lovely lady like you if we've ever met before."

Smooth.

If it was anyone else, Arturia would've immediately suspected that he was trying to flirt with her. It was him, though. Despite having just met him and barely passed introduction, she could already tell that he was purely innocent in his intention. His social skills seemed to be no better than even her own. However, whilst she felt self conscious and chose to be reserved, he seemed to be eager to try despite the risks. It was admirable of him, and of course, amusing. It made her wish to try too. Besides, even if it meant being a bit out of character, she just couldn't resist teasing him here.

"Lovely?" Her thin blonde eyebrows rose innocently. "You think I'm... lovely?"

"Of course!" He nodded eagerly. "Uh, she'd kill me for saying this, but you look even lovelier than the fabled Queen of Assyria herself."

It backfired.

She had underestimated him. She had no idea how he knew the queen of legend. Perhaps he was just being delusional. She wouldn't put it past him. Anyhow, she was surprised to find herself blushing like a real schoolgirl. It seemed that he had some hidden talent, but of course, he still looked as clueless as ever.

In fact, the oblivious boy, seeing her reddening face, was worried that he had angered her.

"D- Did I say something wrong?" He fidgeted nervously. "... Arturia-chan?"

"N- No! It's all good, Shirou." Smiling reassuringly, she took the chance to change the subject. "But enough talking about me. I've been curious to be honest. How could such a nice boy like you end up here? What kind of predicament left you with no choice but make a deal with Alaya?"

"I don't know... I was on my way back _home_ when suddenly an invisible force snatched me away. Then a strange voice told me how horrible I am before I found myself here." He shrugged weakly. "Basically, I am forced to be this Counter Guardian... with a warning that a single mistake would be the last of me."

That was basically what happened. He just innocently left off the details. However, that alone was enough for her to draw a conclusion quickly. And it took her by a complete shock.

"No way... You're a special case!? I thought that was just a myth." Her eyes wide in disbelief. "... You're that dangerous? But you look as harmless as bunny!"

"I know, right? I was just a harmless random priest living my lonely life."

Liar... Liar... Liar. Liar. Liar! Liar! LIAR! LI-

Oh shut it!

He was so desperate to make a friend here that for once he denied his dark thoughts. It was barely noticeable, but this confliction showed on his face, making his potential friend frown in worry. It was a sore subject to him, she guessed. Feeling rather guilty, she hurriedly tried to make up for it by offering one delicious slice of her favorite chocolate cake to him.

"Here." She smiled comfortingly. "It'll make you feel better."

"Arturia-chan..." His face became flabbergasted as he accepted carefully. "Arigatou!"

Just like that.

With that one slice of cake, an unexpected friendship between the Sham of Saint and the King of Knights formed strongly.

/

Years went by quickly, and before the two friends knew it, the inevitable time they had not been that much waiting for came.

Graduation.

They all gathered in the academy's grand courtyard, listening to the headmaster's speech. He was a hulking old man that somehow reminded Shirou fondly of Risei-san. But everyone knew that he, Counter Guardian BARAGGAN, was the eldest among the elites, revered greatly for his legendary act of sinking Atlantis. His strength was said to be easily comparable to the King of Heroes Gilgamesh. It was quite a surprise that such a being existed outside the Throne of Heroes. Even more surprising, it was also said that he was 'only' the second strongest of them...

Alaya sure had such a formidable arsenal in Its disposal.

It made the notion that Arturia's harmless-looking friend being considered to be a threat of the highest level seem even more ludicrous.

Perhaps it really had been a mistake.

Perhaps it all happened to him just because of his horrible luck.

The poor boy slumped pitifully at the thought. And as his best friend, the obviously top graduate girl felt compelled to cheer him up. Slowly, she scooted closer to him, careful not to get spotted by the ever scary Counter Guardian HAWLEY's hawk-like gaze. Thankfully they stood just next to each other, so it was not that difficult for her to get close enough to him to give him a reassuring pat on the back.

"Come on, Shirou. You look like a kicked puppy. Cheer up! This is graduation day, remember?"

"... I remember I just barely made it, Ms Top Graduate."

"Well, I'm sure you could've done much better if only you took classes a bit seriously."

Perhaps...

For someone who had never gone to proper school in the past, Shirou had shown little to no enthusiasm in classes. If it had not been for his prodigal friend patiently helping him studying and training, he might as well never graduate. Her kind effort was very much appreciated, though. In return, he had helped her make a handful of other friends in the past few years. In fact, thanks to him, she had become very popular here, akin to some kind of idol even.

The unlikely pair of friends had been widely know in AsCGA as the Queen and her Wimp.

The 'Wimp' in question winced slightly at his undesirable reputation, but he brushed it off quickly to give his 'Queen' a proud smile.

"Seriously, though, Arturia-chan. You're way out of everyone's league. Rumor even says you'd be mentored by one of the most popular elites."

"Who?"

"Oh you'd be jumping in joy like a schoolgirl soon." His smile turned mischievous. "It's none other than Counter Guardian EMIYA!"

"... Who's that?"

At her genuinely clueless response, if he wasn't afraid being chewed off by Mrs HAWLEY like usual, he would've dropped down comically in disbelief.

"Oh come on, Arturia-chan! The 'dark and handsome' Mr Popular has been practically worshiped by the female populace here."

"... Really?"

"... Don't tell me the rumor is true that you really swing that way."

"W- What do you mean by that?!"

"Honestly, I still remember you once oh so casually suggested we bath together until you noticed my burning face..."

"That's because I just don't see you as a male!"

"..."

He was officially done for. The last remain of his fragile dignity had just been squashed mercilessly by his very own best friend who just happened to be the prettiest girl he had ever seen. No more hope left for him... He was officially just a wimp now.

Knowing his luck, it wouldn't be that far fetched if later on he found himself officially labelled as sixth-rate Counter Guardian WIMP.

It took a bit longer than normal for said best friend to realize the damage she had unintentionally done with such a thoughtless claim. But once she did, she was horrified. Desperation to save their friendship compelled her to act immediately without thinking at all.

"NO, SHIROU!" She cried for all to hear. "Forget what I said! You're definitely a MALE! I've seen your #### once! It's really BIG for a boy your age!"

"..."

Could Alaya please just put him out of his misery already?

A horribly awkward silence fell into the courtyard at once. Everyone, including even the headmaster who stopped short in his glorious speech, turned toward the pair in utter shock and bewilderment. But before said pair even had the chance to look embarrassed, a certain scary instructor furiously snapped out of it and moved like a flash to snatch them both away.

/

Counter Guardian HAWLEY's brutal scolding had felt like a nightmare that lasted a lifetime...

As the pair of friends warily made a return, they still shuddered at the thought of being served as a dinner for the fearsome Beast of Alaya. Though at the very least, they could feel a little at ease once they noticed that the ceremony was already over. The ones left in the courtyard were only their fellow graduates as they all waited for their assigned mentors to come for them each. Naturally, weird glances were still thrown in the pair's direction as they rejoined the others, but it was rather tame since no one wished to offend their 'Queen'.

Pretty much manageable.

As they waited, perhaps it was better to fill the still present awkwardness with idle chatter.

"So..." The boy tried to take it lightly. "You've seen my... ####?"

"Once... Accidentally." The girl shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry..."

"And, it didn't... you know, elicit any... 'reaction' from you?"

"... No?"

"Oh, well. That means even if you don't swing that way... I still have absolutely no chance then."

"... Shirou?" She blinked at him in surprise with a tinge of regret. "You..."

"Nope."

The playful smirk he showed her here rewarded him with a punch to the shoulder before they both simultaneously joined together in a heartfelt laughter.

They were the best of friends, and it was best to remain that way.

All the awkwardness was gone as they continued waiting. They made lighthearted comments here and there as high-rate Counter Guardians came for the new initiates assigned to them. Hours passed, their peers left one by one with a mentor each until only the two of them left. For some reason, it seemed that their supposed mentors were late...

No matter.

Just as they were about to joke around again, however, a tall figure in black and red appeared with a somewhat arrogant gait in his steps. The late afternoon wind ruffled his slicked back white hair as he gazed at them disinterestedly. All in all, he pretty much gave off the vibe of an ass.

Arturia frowned in distaste and a bit of confusion as she nudged her friend.

"Is that the MIYA guy?"

"Most definitely the elite Counter Guardian EMIYA himself."

"Why didn't you tell me that you two look alike? Is he your big brother?!"

Eh?

The two whiteheads seized one another in quite a bit of surprise. The taller one had to admit that they both did eerily resemble each other. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he would've suspected that this kid in front of him was a stupidly wimpy counterpart of his from some twisted timeline. His focus returned quickly, though. As it did, he scrutinized the kid thoroughly with his calculating gaze for what he really was under his all too harmless exterior. And what he soon found was enough to make even him shudder...

Alaya had really not been kidding...

EMIYA, whose vast experience was unquestionable, had only ever felt such a dangerous presence from the undisputed strongest of his fellow elites... and the Beast of Alaya itself...

Meanwhile, despite knowing the forgotten history between the two in his presence, the highest level threat to mankind in a wimpy disguise kept playing innocent, hiding his true thoughts with easy chuckles.

"No way, Arturia-chan! If I were the brother of a popular elite, I wouldn't have such a hopeless reputation, don't you think?"

"Well, that's a relief, I say. I would hate for you to be related to someone who looks like a total ass like him."

Right that moment, the aforementioned ass cleared his throat sharply as he stopped. Noticing this, his lookalike smiled sheepishly.

"Ah, sorry, EMIYA-san! That was rude of us. This is Arturia-chan, and I'm -"

"Get lost, kid."

"..."

Now, the poor kid really looked like a kicked puppy. The sight instantly elicited his best friend's strong sense of protectiveness. She quickly put a comforting arm around his shoulders before glaring at the offender.

"That proves how much of an ass you are!"

"Yeah, so?"

"Apologize! I will not tolerate you bully him!"

"Sure." He shrugged unapologetically. "Sorry for hurting your underage boyfriend's fragile feelings."

"I have no boyfriend."

"Oh? What's the kid to you then? Pet?"

At once, she puffed up her not so impressive chest, looking up proudly.

"My **best friend**."

"... Arturia-" Slowly, said best friend looked up at her with teary eyes. "... chan?"

At the sight of his sickeningly flabbergasted look, his bully stepped back a bit warily. Soon there was an unmistakable sound of sniffle, and the hard-ass man felt like throwing up. He might be an elite Counter Guardian with an outstanding reputation, but that didn't necessarily mean he was equipped with a mean to deal with a horrific situation such as this.

He had to do something, quick.

"Oi... Oi! I have no time for this!" Hopefully, he didn't look panicked as he focused his attention on the small female. "You! Shorty? Follow me."

"S- Shorty?!"

"Yeah, you. You see anyone shorter than you here?"

"But -"

"Listen to your mentor, Shorty."

"Hey!" She looked scandalized, but then she remembered her friend. "What about Shirou? Where's his mentor, anyway?"

A sharp white eyebrow rose up mockingly in response.

"... Who wants to mentor such a wimp?"

"HEY! Cut it out already, will you?!"

Again, she quickly tried to comfort the boy who now slumped down hopelessly in depression. This gave the bully a very bad feeling. He had to act quickly again before he threw up for real.

Besides, Alaya had entrusted this to him as well, he recalled with a sigh.

"The kid will work alone from the start."

Hearing that, the two looked up at him in confusion, but he paid their questioning gaze no mind as he begrudgingly took out a sealed envelope.

"Special case, remember? You even got a mission already." Carelessly, he threw the envelope to the kid before glancing back at the other one. "Time to go, Shorty. Follow me. Or not. Don't care."

Ignoring said shorty's glare, the elite Counter Guardian turned around and leave. Despite his words, she sadly had no choice but follow. Not without some parting words to her best friend, of course.

"Oh well..." She sighed in disappointment before smiling softly. "I guess I'll see you later, Shirou."

"Ah, later, Arturia-chan." He returned her smile. "Have fun!"

Deep down, however... they both wondered... why did it feel like goodbye?

The warmth of his smile accompanied her as she, with a heavy heart, uncertainly walked away. Only once she was finally out of sight did the smile slipped away, and along with it, his all too innocent persona. The cold and calculating side of him finally resurfaced then as he focused his thought on the newfound development of his fate.

Tricky Alaya.

Logically, a special case like him should definitely be assigned a 'mentor' to keep a close eye on him. But as it appeared, Alaya wanted him to have a free space to make a move, to break the rule, to fail in his last chance... After all, a perfect justification to just be done with him was just what It needed.

He was beyond saving.

Not that he wished to be saved...

Not that he wished to live...

He just couldn't afford to stop. If Alaya planned to stop him with this little trick, he would turn the table around. He never cared playing by the rule, anyway. Giving him an opportunity to break it would only serve to make things simpler for him.

His steely golden eyes glowed hauntingly as they focused on the innocent little envelope in his restored hand. Instead of tearing it open, he took the time to open it in a coldly meticulous manner. His face remained perfectly impassive as he read the curt description of his upcoming mission. Once he was finished, however, an eerie smile broke his features before a dark chuckle left his throat. And it all culminated with a full blown evil laugh of an undisputable villain...

Fate was such a sadistic thing. It had just reunited two matching souls, in a hopeless circumstance where they'd be kept together but would never be together. Now, it intended to do the same but to two opposing souls, and then what? Wait to see how long until they destroyed each other?

Dark humor at its finest.

The former was already amusing enough to watch, but making him one of the main players in the latter?

Oh, fate, he could laugh all day.

/

Somewhere in a timeline not worth mentioning, in an attempt to create a fine new weapon to act on the behalf of mankind, Alaya had decided to experiment on a certain saint's fate.

She was worth saving.

And Alaya knew that deep inside, even if she denied it, she wished to be saved, she wished to live... Ironically, however, in opposite to certain sham of a saint who wished no such things but stubbornly refused to stop, she chose to rest in silence. It made Alaya wonder if only she was given a chance for her wish to come true, would she take it over an uncertain place at the side of a Lord who had abandoned her?

Thus, the experiment started.

With a soft whisper, Alaya offered the chance...

With a silent tear, Jeanne accepted it...

With that, the flame of judgement that burned her helpless form turned into one of passion that healed her completely. However, it all went wrong when at the last moment, the fire turned into one of vengeance... As it violently licked her rejuvenated body, it turned the warm gold of her hair ashen and the soft violet of her eyes into the color of blazing pyre.

What a failure.

She was beyond saving too now.

It was not in Alaya's capacity to admit mistake, much less make up for it, so as the usual procedure, a weapon would be sent to clean up this mess. There was just a perfect one for it in fact. How convenient it would be for Alaya if it would lead the both of them to their ultimate demise.

That was what happened.

That was the reason the city of Rouen had been left burned to cinders along with the mass of slaughtered citizens within. The fallen saint responsible for it had earned her vengeance, but she still sought more. She would not be satisfied until this whole blasted world burned. She longed for the day her traitorous Lord would cry again, but this time... out of horror at the sight of her flame of vengeance.

Alas, it all had to wait.

Much to her frustration, her human body couldn't keep up with her blazing soul. Battered and exhausted, she had to stop for rest after walking for days on end, looking for another place to burn down. Sleep consumed her slowly but surely that lonely night as she laid under the thick canopy of an old tree. Just as her eyes fluttered close, however, she thought she saw an angel in black with a billowing red vestment... If only she could stay awake long enough to see the eerie smile on that innocently youthful face... she would've seen that she couldn't be more wrong.

It was even worse than a devil, much worse...

The damned **Counter Guardian AMAKUSA**.

* * *

**Whew, the joke of a story is turning dark already this soon. Feel free to take it seriously or not.**

**I just can't get enough of Amakusa Shirou. He's hands down my all time favorite villain. Here, he appears more twisted, showing the conflict between his good and evil side clearly. He's basically a violent mass of contradictions twisted together so finely and put into the vessel of an overly caring boy with the worst fate. He's beyond saving. There's no one (save for my RoF's Iri, of course) who could accept him and love him for what he is... or is there?**


	2. dying

**Oh look! Frozenseed is still invested in this new story. Not sure for how long, though.**

**Warning: a bit of graphic violence at the end (Shirou being his evil self)**

**02**

* * *

Saints... the naive chosen of God.

Amakusa Shirou Tokisada was actually glad that he had never truly been considered as one. In all honesty, despite sharing a similar faith, he couldn't stand any of them, even.

This one in particular.

What a pathetic sight.

The dirty little garb she wore had been singed and torn in more than plenty enough places. Even some common whore might look more modest than her as she laid there with those sinful curves of her body exposed so unashamedly to his unflinching gaze. Paying no mind to his own body's instinctual reaction to this, he turned his attention to her long unbraided hair. It no longer complimented her lovely innocent image, not that she still had such a thing. Instead, that familiar delicate blonde adorning her head had become a dull mess of hair almost as pale as his own.

Just showed how nearly as damned as he was she was turning out to be.

Ironically enough, as much as she had changed, this girl laying soundlessly before him was still as sickening to him as the one preaching about rules so naively with that goody two-shoes attitude.

Jeanne d'Arc...

The dumb peasant girl left her simple life behind to join a war only because she thought she heard her Lord's cry... because she thought He needed her help...

Her idiocy could make him laugh to tears.

As if He would ever need their help. It was basically the same as doubting His almightiness to even think that He would ever need any kind of help from His own creations, much less one as dumb as this girl. She was lucky enough that despite all her idiocy, He still graciously awarded her bravery by leading her down the right path. It still didn't change the fact, however, that she fought in His name first as if it was something He needed, and the good of her cause second.

Fortunately for little miss saint, in this world, we were known much better for the image we had than the reason behind our actions.

Not that he could care less about such pointless things.

They were all free to call him sham of a saint, a filthy rebel, or even just a typical villain.

None other than his own self needed to know and remember why he chose the doomed path he walked.

Being born and growing up in an oppressed society, he along with his people only had their belief in Him to hold onto. It was what preserved their humanity, preventing them from falling as low as the world around them as they helplessly tried to survive. And when it too was threatened to be taken away, he decided then to fight. It was noting glorious. They didn't fight in His name. He received no word from Him. He just quietly asked for His permission before taking up a sword to raise up with his people, and most importantly, to show the world that humanity was something more than worth fighting and dying for.

They had failed then...

The blame laid mainly on himself for forgetting the bigger picture at the most crucial point. All his torture and eventual execution couldn't even hope to make up for the hell he had brought upon those tens of thousands of his suffering people that fateful day in Shimabara. All their tears and bloods would always be with him as he kept on walking, telling him to stop and join them at last.

But he just couldn't afford to...

Even though it would be just so easy.

Even Alaya was offering him such a perfect opportunity. With just one disobedience, in this case by letting the dumb girl leave with her life, he would get the ultimate end he deserved and perhaps even wished. It would by no means reunite him with them all, much less _the one and only_ he had ever loved with all his being. Not that he deserved such a privilege. He was just too tired that a final rest in endless nothingness seemed so tempting...

**NO**.

He could never hope for _her_ forgiveness if he stopped.

He owed it all and much more to _her_ for failing to keep his promise.

His decision was already made. He would not eliminate little miss saint and complete the mission. But he also had no intention to leave her unharmed either. No, that would be such a waste. He had not wasted his time in that realm, laying low and playing fool without coming up with some plan. This girl, as dumb as she was, would be a valuable asset in this new plan. She had the potential. He just needed to break her completely first and then mold her as he saw fit.

Soundlessly, the wayward Ruler walked up closer before kneeling down near the sleeping maiden. The eerie smile on his face turned even more evil then as he ever so gently caressed her dirty yet still smooth left cheek with his right hand. It was at this moment that the reddish black runes of his Evil Eater manifested around the arm. And with a growing dark sense of excitement, he just couldn't resist leaning even closer to whisper into her right ear.

"Oyasumi ne..."

/

Night had also fallen in the realm of Alaya. The intentionally limited sources of artificial light only complimented the serious atmosphere of the place. One building in particular, however, stood strong despite the surrounding darkness.

Brightdown Sanctuary

The sacred base of eleven elite Counter Guardians revered as the **Swords of Alaya**.

Calm footsteps echoed within the shadowy interior of the building as one member leisurely headed toward the meeting hall. The signature black and red outfit he wore easily distinguished him as the famous Number Six, the sixth strongest of them. As it appeared, however, he was also famous for his lack of care in discipline, seeing how indifferent he was despite being already quite late for tonight meeting.

His eventual entrance into the grand hall was at once met with simultaneous glares from the rest of Alaya's strongest weapons. He just shrugged carelessly in response as he took his designated spot in the circle gathering, knowing that he had a convenient excuse this time. And as usual, before the meeting finally began, his sharp gaze instinctively roamed over his fellow elites present.

FIORANO, ZALA, KURZICK, WALHERT, TABRIS, STEELBURN, DUMAT

And then the top three, revered as the Ones Who Wield the Power of God...

GOLOVIN, BARAGGAN, and lastly, A-

A frown crossed EMIYA's face at the absent of Number One.

"Where's sensei?"

At his sudden question, a solemn look settled on Number Two's wrinkled face.

"As we all know already, his condition is only getting worse. I'm afraid he doesn't have that much time left..."

"What?! Is there really nothing we can do about it? Don't expect me to stand here with you people when he's practically alone in his deathbed!"

"Calm down, CG EMIYA."

The firm tone of AsCGA's great headmaster was enough to force said former student to do just as asked.

"Forgive me, sir."

"I understand how you feel with him having been your mentor and the closest you have here as a family. Trust me, we all do. I personally still remember fondly the first time he was brought here as an innocent little child... You don't know how proud I was then when he eventually surpassed me."

A poignant kind of silence settled in the meeting hall before the meeting could really begin.

True to Number Two's words, everyone knew how Number Six felt. They had varying degrees of solemness on their faces as they stood silently, lost in their own thoughts for a moment. After all, despite their differing backgrounds and often conflicting characters, they all shared one common thing.

Deep, genuine respect for the undisputed strongest.

It was not really a secret among them that their true loyalties laid with the man more than even Alaya. After all, he had been the reason their endless existence here bearable by treating them as real persons and never letting them feel like weapons they were intended to be. Everyone, even the most inhumane among them, saw him as a true comrade, friend, family... or perhaps even more in one particular case.

The old Number Two smiled sadly at Number Three who tried her best to hide her heartbroken expression before he returned his attention to the rests.

"Alas, there seems to be nothing we could do up to this point. Even Alaya who treasures him above anything has to accept this, knowing his sole existence is a mystery in the first place."

Before any more words could be said, however, the somber Number Three cleared her throat stoically, finally regaining her composure to lead the meeting.

"There is no point further talking about it. We are here for an important meeting." Her cold gaze then settled on a certain someone. "EMIYA. Let's start with the promising new initiate you have so 'kindly' volunteered to mentor."

Quite a few of them snickered at this, but only the feisty Number Eleven bothered to voice her thought.

"I heard she's quite a pretty little thing." She put a finger on her cherry red lip. "Does the hard-ass EMIYA have a strong reason behind this, I wonder... or maybe he just wants to mentor her in things best kept behind closed doors."

"Come now, FIORANO. You know it already." He unexpectedly enough smirked suggestively. "No one knows me behind closed doors better than you."

As usual when those two started going at it, the rests felt sick quickly. It was just as Number Six intended, however, to divert their attentions so he didn't have to give an answer. It worked well for most of them, except for the always grim Number Four whose stare bore down on him.

"You know Number Eleven has a point, Number Six. Then? What is your answer?"

Everyone looked at the somewhat uncomfortable man questioningly then until he eventually gave in.

"She doesn't remember, but I have a history with her. You can say I want to return a favor or something. It's personal. Call it sentimentality or whatever."

Thankfully, that seemed to be acceptable enough, at least to the ever professional meeting leader.

"Very well. We will tolerate such sentimentality as long as you don't let it get in the way of your proper job as her mentor. She is a valuable asset to Alaya. You have to keep that in mind, Counter Guardian EMIYA."

"Got it."

"Now, let's move on to the main subject of this meeting." She looked straight ahead with increasing seriousness. "The highest level threat to mankind."

The others appeared to share her seriousness on the subject as they fell silent for a moment. That was until the brutish Number Five snorted haughtily.

"Don't know what all the fuss is about. I've seen his profile once. To put it bluntly, the kid looks as weak as a wimp."

The immediate response he got was a mocking chuckle from none other than Number Six himself.

"Did you even think to look past the picture, STEELBUM? Let me tell you then. That kid could easily find dozens of way to kill you if needed."

"Oh yeah? Then how about you Number Six?" The brute grinned menacingly. "You who couldn't even scratch me with your little blades."

"Huh? Why would I even want to give you a scratch?"

Not again...

The rests watched tiredly as the two rivals with thick bad blood between them glared at each other. Then without warning, Number Six's signature twin blades materialized just as Number Five's whole skin turned into thick steel. A deathmatch was basically about to happen if that wasn't obvious already. Just as they started to make a move, however, they both found themselves violently slammed down to the floor by a seemingly invincible force, cracking it.

Number Three's vector manipulation.

The stoic woman just once again displayed how effortlessly she could control all the vectors in her vicinity. This, combined with the hard stare of her crimson eyes, was more than enough to silence the two troublemakers instantly. Even the others appeared to be uncomfortable by this display. Thus, the headmaster, the only one there with higher ranking than her, cleared his throat uneasily to get the meeting she supposedly led back on track.

"It is wise to not underestimate the boy." He took a second to recall the few times they had met. "True strength is not about how much power you have, but how to utilize any power in your disposal. Already, I can tell that he's one of the few who can do it to the limit... perhaps even beyond."

Everyone mulled over his words carefully, including Number Five and Six as they slowly got up, with the latter nodding in agreement.

"Indeed, headmaster. Though I think Alaya is even more wary of the kid's simple inability to call it quit." He gazed off into the distance in thought. "No matter how much he got put down, he would rise up again and again, becoming even more and more twisted and dangerous each time."

It was truly a troubling matter, but here as expected as their expert strategist, Number Eight looked at him pointedly, already thinking ahead.

"The boy is a friend of the girl you mentor, correct?"

"Best friend, she said."

"Splendid. Then we would simply use it as a safety measure. It would only work effectively, however, if she believes we are in the right."

"Sure. This is my job, I know."

Number Six's nonchalant shrug came as no surprise to anyone. They paid it no mind since he had never given them any reason to doubt his competency as an elite despite his attitudes. Number Two smiled at this in amusement until something quite concerning suddenly crossed his mind.

"Do you know his current whereabouts, EMIYA? As I recall, you were the one entrusted with Alaya's message for him."

"Well, I just gave him that suspicious letter about his undisclosed first mission. And I know for a fact that no mentor has been assigned for him."

Again, another shrug.

However, this unexpected news made the elder Counter Guardian's eyes widen as he pondered silently what Alaya was actually planning...

/

The night air was getting colder, but there standing alone in front of the sanctuary's looming form, was a petite girl dressed only in a modest white and blue clothing. She shivered slightly as a cold wind brushed past her small frame for the umpteenth time. It still had close to no effect on the determined look she had on her face, however. Her bright blue eyes held a considerable amount of resolve and perhaps annoyance as she stood still on this spot for the last few hours just as she was told by her new mentor.

Still, how she wished to be in her old dorm room sharing a warm blanket with her best friend just as they usually did in cold nights like this. Here, she looked behind her unconsciously from time to time, expecting to hear that oh so familiar 'Arturia-chan' any moment. She smiled softly at the thought. But there was again this sinking feeling in her chest as she remembered the moment they separated earlier.

It did feel like goodbye...

She didn't know why, but it really scared her. There was a wholly different air about him as she uncertainly walked away, and it felt like she didn't know him anymore then. Well, if she was being honest, despite their wonderfully close friendship, they really didn't know much about each other's history, who they were before their time here. She had honestly thought it no longer mattered that much because they were all here for a new start.

But now...

Suddenly, there was this desperate urge to see him, if only to make sure that this precious thing they had between them all this long had truly been real.

Curse that insufferable mentor of hers for telling her to wait here until he came back, she thought, gritting her teeth in frustration.

"That ass... I swear -"

"Whose ass?"

At that sudden unfamiliar voice, the girl quickly looked up. Her eyes widened then as she saw a gorgeous lady walking down the stairs in an elegant black and blue attire with navy blue hair tied up in a bun as prim as her own. She looked on in awe, but her face soon reddened as she finally recognized this young woman as one of the few elites she knew, kind of idolized even.

"Counter Guardian... GOLOVIN?"

"Oh?" The elite raised an eyebrow slightly. "I didn't expect to be recognized easily. Despite my rank, I'm not that popular like, say, ZALA or EMIYA. Personally I prefer to be called Alyssa, however, especially by fellow females."

"Oh, very well! Lady Alyssa." Her nervousness quickly dissipated. "I too much prefer to be called by my first name, Arturia, despite having just been officially named CG PENDRAGON."

Almost instantly, she cringed at the thought of her new title. This didn't go unnoticed by the older woman who hummed lightly in understanding.

"You were really the fabled King of Knights, I see. Interesting. Who knew that a shady character like EMIYA actually has an interest in someone of your status."

"That ass!" Her anger returned, but then her eyes widened again in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. It's just, that insufferable mentor of mine has made me wait here for hours without any explanation."

"... I'm sorry to tell you, but he was the first to leave as soon as the meeting ended..."

"..."

Now, she seriously wished to bite his ass off. It might as well since he had left her here to miss dinner. This thought unfortunately made her finally notice how painfully hungry she was. And to her horror, her poor empty belly chose that exact moment to voice an absolutely unnecessary reminder. Her face turned red instantly at this.

Thankfully, the female elite was so understanding that she only looked somewhat amused.

"Come. Let's get some meals together."

It was so tempting. If not for this strong need to find her friend, Arturia would've accepted the invitation without a second thought. But just as she was about to politely refuse, she suddenly saw an unmistakably poignant look crossed Lady Alyssa's normally composed features. As a former king, she could see when someone needed help. And she would be a horrible king if she turned her back on the one in need of it.

"Very well."

Thus, the two females walked together through the dimly lit path. They stayed in a relatively comfortable silence for a while. The new initiate was thankful for it because even though her social skills had improved considerably, she was not sure how to approach this. She still wished to help, though. The opportunity came soon later then when the elite sighed sadly.

"Have you ever felt helpless, knowing that you're losing someone dear to you?"

The question was coincidentally fitting for the girl's own situation that she also sighed sadly.

"Yes... Many times. In truth, that is exactly what I feel now..."

"... Oh? Who is it if I may ask?"

"My best friend. I don't know for sure what's actually going on, but it feels like I'm really losing him. Even worse, it makes me feel uncertain that our friendship has been real to begin with. I know he would always be my best friend regardless, but I'm not sure now if he has ever really seen me as a friend..."

It was quite obvious who this best friend was. The highly intelligent Number Three had not meant to pry for information or anything, but she would not pass up an opportunity to gain a better insight either. Besides, she also genuinely wished to help this troubled girl.

"Friendship should not be a complicated matter. Personally, I suppose someone considers you as a friend when they easily let you see small, seemingly trivial things about them, like..." She looked up a bit in thought. "What's his favorite music?"

"**UVERworld**!"

The instantaneous and full of excitement answer was pretty much unexpected.

"Oh? Not bad. I remember really liking 'NO.1' by that particular band."

"His most favorite are 'Touch Off' and 'IMPACT'. Mine is 'Unknown Orchestra'. Each time we listened to that one, he always asked me to dance together, acting like a hotshot or something, and surprisingly enough, he did look like one! Well, until the music ended that is. Then he'd return to his dorky self in no time!"

It was truly a surprise to Arturia that the somber conversation could lead to her laughing freely like this, but she just couldn't help it. Just talking about those fond memories she had with him made her feel warm and happy. It let her set aside all those fear and anxiety even just for a moment. Really, without her knowing it, she turned out to be the one being help here.

Despite her still present grief and stoic personality, even Alyssa couldn't help having a bit of chuckle as well at this moment. She could imagine how close her young companion was with the supposedly highest level threat. They were the best of friends, and perhaps, seeing how her face lit up brightly as she talked about him, it was even more to her. The girl didn't seem to realize it, though, so it might be wise to give a little advice here.

"It's clear that he's very dear to you. Are you sure he's 'only' a best friend?"

"Huh?" Blue eyes blinked in puzzlement. "Of course. I barely even consider we're of different genders."

"Well, that's a relief?" Here the poignant look returned to those crimson eyes. "Just make sure you know about your feelings... before it's too late..."

This time it went unnoticed by Arturia, however, because her mind suddenly went blank save for a single thought.

Could there really be a chance that deep down, maybe... just maybe... she saw her best friend as something more... even just a bit?

/

At the other, more peaceful section of Alaya's realm, the Counter Force's advanced medical center was located. Despite being the only one in the realm, the facility was large enough to house all medical knowledge and technologies ever known to mankind of all times. The life threatening duties of Counter Guardians required the best of the best treatment to support them after all. Alas, even with such a perfect facility, nothing could be done still to save Alaya's very own strongest from the unnaturally mysterious degenerating condition he suffered lately.

In one very special room reserved for him only at the topmost floor, the young man laid alone on his bed. The main light had been turned off to allow him some much needed rest. His eyes slowly opened, however, when the large window silently opened, letting the cold wind ruffle his shortish white hair lightly.

There was a visitor.

Still not making any noise, the very familiar visitor in black and red jumped into the room. The solemn look on his face became apparent then as he carefully walked up to the bed and knelt down close to it.

"I'm here, sensei. It's been a while..." He didn't dare look up at the person. "Forgive me for not visiting more often."

"As you said, you're here now. That's all that matter. Though it would be nice if you could grant your sensei's dying wish..."

It was only a light statement, not meant to be taken seriously, but to EMIYA, it was the most important thing in the world right this moment.

"Just say it." With a grim determination, he finally looked up. "I will do anything in my power to fulfill it."

"If you insist... I just wish to see you finally get married, EMIYA. It's long overdue. I don't really care with whom. FIORANO at last, perhaps? Or even STEELBURN if you swing that way? We all know you two secretly have a thing for each other with how often - OW!"

The dying man's ramble was mercilessly interrupted without warning as he received a well deserved whack on the head. The visitor responsible couldn't believe he had fallen for that as he stood up then and walked away before leaning back on the wall with his arms crossed. Meanwhile, despite the death glare aimed at him, the patient innocently sat up to put on his slim glasses.

"One advice from a sensei." He paused a bit to rub his sore head. "Try to be nice, even more so now that you've become a mentor to a young lady."

"... Your point?"

"Well, I have one last hope that this lovely lady would be the one to finally save EMIYA from his asshole-y self. And then he'd fall for her -"

"Stop being delusional!"

"EMIYA... Is it so hard to understand that looking forward to your wedding would motivate your dying sensei to live a bit longer?"

Ha ha.

The annoyed man was ready to give his snarky retort. He stopped short, however, at the heartbreakingly sincere look on his sensei's tired face. He could be ruthless to just about anyone, but not this overly kind man.

"Fine." He sighed resignedly. "I'll try..."

"Wonderful! Introduce her to your sensei as soon -"

"To be nice!" His eyes widened in panic. "I'll give it a try. Nothing more."

The hope that almost made the dying man's day only lasted briefly before being squashed mercilessly. It was such a shame. Though he was still glad that this young man he mentored ages ago had decided to be a mentor himself. It sure brought back fond memories.

"You will not regret it, EMIYA, being a mentor. It's one of the best experience we could ever get. I still remember ruffling your adorable copper locks for sure."

"That horrid thing is best left forgotten."

"Hey now. White hair is cool and all. Everyone knows you turned your hair white yourself to imitate your cool sensei. -"

"Like hell!"

"- But don't be like that. Do you know that I used to be blonde when I was little?"

The thought was almost laughable.

"Seriously..."

"Seriously. There's still a lot you don't know about your sensei." He smiled smugly. "Would you believe me if I tell you I'm technically half japanese?"

"No."

"And half french?"

"No."

"Oh come on, EMIYA! Look sensei in the face and tell him you don't believe him!"

Such an opportunity was not meant to be passed up.

"Sensei. I do not believe you."

And it was simply worth it.

No one would've ever thought that Alaya's undisputed strongest could have the look of a kicked puppy. And for some reason, the look really reminded EMIYA of the one a certain wimpy kid had earlier. The two had close to no resemblance in their features, but as he thought about it, somehow the ridiculous expressions they made were like carbon copies of each other. There was just no way they were related, though, so he got rid of this bizarre thought quickly.

It was about time to end their customary nonsense anyway.

"Seriously, sensei. You're dying. At least try to behave like a proper dying person, would you?" He couldn't help feeling frustrated. "We're all worried about you. Do I need to tell you how heartbroken Number Three looked in the meeting despite her stoic mask?"

"Alyssa..." The man looked down softly in regret. "I wish she could smile more."

"Then make her smile, dammit!"

If only it was that simple...

"You know better than almost anyone that some things are just not meant to be, EMIYA."

True...

"... What's actually happening to you? How come nothing could be done about your goddamn condition?!"

The normally indifferent Number Six didn't even bother to hide his desperation. He at least deserved some answer, the Number One wisely decided.

"I'm not supposed to exist to begin with... It was only the call of my purpose that allowed it to happen. I was 'born' through an anomaly beyond even Alaya's comprehension because there was no chance in fate for me to be born by any normal means."

"How so?" The younger man couldn't look more puzzled. "... What's wrong with your supposed parents?"

"Well, they're not supposed to ever meet. And even if they do meet, it wouldn't make that much difference. They're like two of the same magnet poles after all."

Idly, the dying man looked outside the window to the night sky. Strangely enough, his warm violet eyes glinted with mirth behind those thin glasses. He was actually more than smart enough to guess the reason behind his unfortunate condition.

This fake existence of his was no longer deemed necessary now that there was finally a chance for him to exist naturally no matter how slim it was...

/

A burst of flame violently blasted through the clearing of one particular rural area in France, lighting up the dark sky for the umpteenth time that cold night. It appeared to be too powerful to be the result of mere magecraft. And that was true because in actuality, the attack could be considered as a minor version of a certain saintly Heroic Spirit's ultimate Noble Phantasm. This was to be expected, however, seeing that the girl using it was none other than a living counterpart of the Heroic Spirit in question herself.

The renown Holy Maiden Savior... or at least her fallen self.

However, it was because of none other than her current unfortunate condition itself that she could use such a powerful ability so carelessly without any notable drawbacks. It was with this very flame that she burned down Rouen, the place where she was supposed to be put to death, in vengeance. No one could stand against her, and it only fueled her madness further... at least until she met him.

The strange boy with a red cloak...

Except for his fluffy white hair, he didn't look like much. In fact, he seemed to be a couple years her junior despite being noticeably taller than her. If she were in her right mind, she might've found him cute even. Not that it mattered much. Her mind had been too far gone after all the things she had gone through.

A furious cry left her mouth as again, flame burst forth from her outstretched hand. It annihilated trees caught in the blast. To her frustration, however, just like what happened every single time before, it didn't even catch a single strand of that fluffy hair. Somehow, the boy managed to evade all her attacks as if he could see them coming from miles away. His face remained impassive as he stood there innocently in the distance with seemingly no intention to retaliate.

This had been going on for hours.

She had been woken up from her brief slumber by his surprisingly sweet touch upon her cheek and even sweeter whisper right into her ear. At first, it pissed her off because she thought he was nothing more than a horny teenager trying to take advantage of a sleeping maiden. Such a thing deserved a slow, painful death in her opinion, so she headbutted him to get him off her before flaming him with colorful curses first instead of instant fire.

No response from him, though.

He just stared her down like she was the dumbest thing to ever exist, not even worth his breath.

She had decided then that she would make him beg her for death. However, it had not taken her that long after several failed attacks to accept that he was no mere horny teenager. His religious clothing that she had been late to notice suggested that he was at least a servant of the church. It aroused her suspicion that he might be sent by the Inquisition to exterminate her after Rouen incident.

Well, that was incorrect, but she pretty much got the basic.

What didn't make sense was he seemed to be playing around with her, wasting time, instead of doing the job quickly while she was still asleep. That and the fact that she was damn sure no Inquisitor or even Templar could stand a chance against her new power.

It worried her.

Now that her blind fury had been spent for hours, she felt anxiety building up within her chest as her mind gradually cleared up. She realized then that he had been trying to wear her down, showing how futile her fight was, introducing her to despair...

Breaking her.

Dreadful chill ran down her spine as an eerie smile grew on his all too innocent face... as though he was congratulating her for figuring it out at last.

The next thing she knew, the strange runes covering his right arm, in a blink of an eye, appeared in her vision. And before she could even gasp in surprise, her body flew sideways as he backhanded her real hard across her face. The sudden attack left her in a daze that she could do nothing to stop the following kick to her stomach. It was strong enough to send her crashing down in another direction. The blood trickling down the corner of her mouth told enough of the injury she suffered, but she ignored it and glared up at him defiantly.

The smile was still there as he looked down upon her crumpled figure like she were just an ugly piece of trash to kick around.

Gritting her teeth, she forced her body to get up before rushing down madly to his awaiting figure. Flame ignited around her right fist in a flash, and she put it to good use with a direct punch into his position. A triumphant smirk began to grow on her lips then, certain that the following burst of flame finally blasted him away. Her heart dropped, however, when she suddenly felt a calloused hand grabbed her still outstretched arm. From the corner of her eye, she saw him standing there to her front-right, unharmed...

Still smiling...

A shrill cry of pain resounded throughout the devastated clearing... drowning out the sharp cracking sound preceding it.

The fallen saint stumbled back helplessly, breathing hard, as her arm was freed but not left unharmed. It now hang limply by her side, badly broken. Tears fell down her pale face as she kept stumbling back in fear.

Fear...

This was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to feel any fear ever again after surrendering herself to flame of vengeance. It was undeniable here, however, that she was being consumed intensely by inexplicable fear.

Fear that somehow had begun to extinguish the flame...

Unbeknownst to them both, by using his Right Hand- Evil Eater, the boy was unintentionally freeing the girl from her madness, saving her from her downfall.

As she found herself unsteadily back in her resting spot under the tree with her back facing it, she was somehow reminded of herself as a person, not as some holy maiden, but just as the silly teenager she used to be...

**Just Jeanne**

The girl who dreamed of loving someone and being loved back, getting married, settling down in a peaceful home, and hopefully... having a child of her own... a son if she had any say in it... one that would share her features... one that she herself would name...

**Lyon**

A bittersweet look had found its way into her glossy eyes as she lost herself in her near forgotten dreamland although she could still see him approaching evilly. That innocently eerie smile was still being given to her exclusively as he stopped right in front of her, but it didn't affect her that much anymore. She barely even flinched when the same calloused hand grabbed her throat this time before slamming her yielding body roughly against the tree.

There was no point anymore struggling against fate.

It was the end she deserved.

It was time to say a final goodbye to her little dream...

At least she could leave this world as her true self again...

At least she would not die alone...

For that alone, she owed this boy a gratitude, no matter how heartless he seemed to be, no matter how much he seemed to despise her. Thus, as her vision began to turn dark, she made sure to give him the brightest smile she could muster in her dying moment. Just before darkness finally claimed her, however... she found such a shocking sight deep behind his unflinching gaze.

_Loss_

_Pain_

_Guilt_

_Grief_

_Regret_

_Sorrow_

_Heartbreak..._

Her only regret then was that she could only wonder why...

* * *

**Sorry if Shirou appears so cruel here especially to Jeanne. This is the last time, I swear. Also sorry they both don't show up much this chapter. I guess it's necessary to establish Alaya's forces early on, including the key figures. The undisputed strongest in particular, it seems I have left more than enough clues here about who he really is. This is a common thing in my stories, leaving vague clues here and there in little details that might be important for the plot. So I highly suggest to keep a close eye on them!**

**Ps. UVERworld - Touch Off is just Amakusa****** Shirou**'s theme!**


	3. deal

**For those expecting Jeanne to be really dead, that's so cruel of you! For those expecting her to just return to normal, that's asking too much! Never mind. The author is just being delusional or maybe butthurt after getting practically no response for last chapter's 'oh so dramatic' cliffhanger. How sad.**

**03**

* * *

Good Lord...

If she had known what awaited her in heaven was such an attractive boy, she would've run headfirst into the war from the start in her pajamas only. Perhaps she was not in her right mind here, but the sight that greeted her as she slowly opened her eyes was simply mesmerizing. He stood there silently a distance away, calmly gazing up at the moon, basking under its soft glow. She honestly had never seen someone this attractive before that she paid no mind how weird it was staring at such a young-looking boy, clearly younger than her by looks alone.

For so long, her personal desires had been repressed for the greater cause that after it was all over, they just burst forth freely, overwhelming her body. It was such surprisingly ecstatic feelings. And it was clearly evident with the pleased grin unknowingly formed on her face as she enjoyed what she saw.

The fluffy white hair ruffled by the breeze.

The tanned skin lit by the moon.

The strong arms -

Wait.

She remembered those arms. They were now fully exposed, having the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. But she knew one in particular well enough, the right one. A haunting image of strange, reddish black runes covering that arm filled her mind then, making her jolt in horrifying realization.

This was not heaven...

No heaven had such a heartless devil in it.

Really, if she had actually died like she honestly expected, she wouldn't have ended up still with her supposed murderer. There was still a chance that she had really died, though. Maybe since her murderer was a devil, he had dragged her to hell with him after she died?

Such a horror.

To her greater horror, it suddenly dawned on her then that she had practically drooled over this heartless devil who had beaten her up mercilessly with an all too innocent smile on his cute face. Tough, to be fair, she was still too dizzy after waking up to recognize him quick enough. That and the fact that he no longer wore that distinctive red cloak of his for some reason. Even his black top had gone missing too, leaving only the plain white, long sleeved shirt underneath.

He really looked much better wearing less...

Stop it!

Gritting her teeth, she narrowed her eyes at the devil in a cute boy disguise. She couldn't let her guards down here. For all she knew, he might still intend to abuse her or even violate her, judging from his suspicious behavior at first when he woke her up. Thus, she tried to ignore her growing attraction in favor of making herself see the actual danger hidden behind his harmless looks. And it was made easier when her gaze spotted a strange sword at his hip.

How dangerous.

He could've easily killed her with that.

But he did no such thing...

In fact, as far as she could remember, he hadn't even once drawn the sword in their fight. He just played her around, thrashed her around until fear consumed her and not even her madness remained. He chocked her then in the end, but by that time, she had regained her real self again.

Now, here she was, under the somewhat familiar tree, and as it seemed, most likely still alive.

Then... could it be that... all along... no matter how hard it was to believe... he had actually wished to... save her?

If so, she might instantly fall head over heels for him right this moment!

That was way too good to be true, though.

The pain all over her worn out body chose the moment to finally reach her senses and remind her harshly how cruel he had been to her. He clearly had no noble intention behind his sadistic action, not in the slightest. Only the most evil would come out of nowhere to beat up an unsuspecting maiden until she broke down completely with a smile instead of some explanation at the very least.

It really hurt all over...

Biting her lip to stifle a cry, she sat up better to check on her hurting body. To her surprise, however, her eyes immediately found the familiar red cloak currently missing on his person. It had been carefully draped over her body up to her chest, leaving only her collarbones and shoulders for her to see. Here she also spotted a torn piece of black fabric suspiciously wrapped over her right shoulder. Curious, she pulled down the cloak a bit to see where the fabric actually led to. Her eyes widened then at what she found.

Slowly she made the connection...

His black top had strangely gone missing, and here she found torn strips of fabric of the same color wrapped around her broken arm... with some pieces of wood... to make a nice makeshift sling.

If what she thought here was true, then she might really fall head over heels for him...

Feeling hopeful and a bit giddy all of a sudden, the probably unstable girl got up without thinking, wanting to get close to the enigmatic boy. Her poor condition sadly disagreed. Pain surged all over her body at once, forcing her to fall back ungracefully on her butt.

"Ow!"

Well, at least with that, she got his attention. A disturbingly smug look briefly crossed his face as he turned toward her, but it was gone almost immediately. And by the time he came to kneel down close to her, the look on his face was nothing but harmless.

"You shouldn't have moved a lot already, Miss Jeanne."

So he knew her name...

That was not exactly what she preferred to be called now, though.

"Just Jeanne."

"Alright, Jeanne."

"Just Jeanne."

"Just... " He blinked in bewilderment. "Jeanne?"

"Mhm." She nodded shyly. "It's Just Jeanne now. There's no point to be anything else anymore."

"..."

Sadly, what she got in response was a weird look from him like he thought she was dumb or something, but she tried not to take it to heart.

"And you? What's your name?"

"... Don't bother. You would have difficulty spelling it anyway."

Why did it seem like he really thought she was dumb here?

"How rude..." She pouted slightly. "Just Jeanne is not dumb, you know."

"..."

Sorry, he really couldn't agree here with someone who didn't even realize that her way of speaking in third person just came out of nowhere and was simply dumb. It gave him annoyance on top of the already building up disappointment. Discreetly, his gaze traveled down to her purplish, still raw neck as he briefly contemplated to just snap it and be done with her already. This didn't go unnoticed by her, however, making her understandably defensive.

"You want to choke Just Jeanne again, don't you?" She accusingly scowled. "Is this what you like to do? Beating up unsuspecting maidens and then treating them just to abuse again?"

"... I know I'm evil." He looked away slightly maybe in shame. "But even I am not that sadistic."

Uh oh.

"Sorry..." Now she smiled sheepishly. "Just Jeanne knows how it feels honestly. Earlier, just like her, you were not really yourself, weren't you?"

"Not true. Unlike you, I'm always fully aware of my actions. They bring me regrets sometimes, but I would not hesitate to do the same again if necessary."

"... You're really evil then."

"True."

This was just sad...

"... No one could ever accept someone as evil as you."

"True."

"... No one could ever love someone as evil as you."

"True."

"... Except for Just Jeanne."

"Tr-"

His eyes widened at once as he took a second look at her strangely determined face. It made him lost for words for sure. He could only gave her a questioning look, one that was full of disbelief. And she returned it with a raised eyebrow until eventually her eyes widened too in panic.

"What Just Jeanne meant was -" Soon enough, she sighed resignedly. "... She knows she has become such a bad person herself. And, you know, bad persons only deserve each other, so... if you ever need for a wife... Just Jeanne is your only option here."

Seriously...

This was beyond ludicrous.

Her face had gone so red, and it was made even more ludicrous with the purplish swelling on her cheek and dark shadow under her eyes. All in all, she didn't look remotely close to attractive despite her 'generous' offer. And here, like any other sane male, Amakusa Shirou knew well enough the best answer for it.

"No, thanks."

Ouch.

"But why?!" The desperation didn't help her look at all. "Is Just Jeanne not pretty enough?"

Here, at the moment, obvious-

"I'm not that shallow."

"Then... not smart enough?"

"Well... that plays a part perhaps." He looked away uneasily. "You really can't be called smart here."

Ouch.

"Just Jeanne is not dumb!"

"..."

It seemed that he was being mean to her intentionally here. It was getting hard not to take it to heart. Tears began to well up in her eyes, but she ignored it. Somehow, she felt more desperate to prove him wrong, desperate enough to just come up with something she thought was only her imagination.

"Just Jeanne is smart enough to know you're hurting. You turned evil because you're..." Unconsciously, she braced herself. "... **heartbroken**."

And the reaction she got appeared worse than she expected. She cursed herself here for crossing the line as she saw his eyes widened instantly. She could've even sworn that he trembled slightly. Just as she was about to apologize, however, only a shocked gasp left her mouth.

In a blink of an eye, he seized her delicate chin none too gently, making her look into his steely eyes.

"Listen here, you dumb cow. You know **nothing** about me."

... dumb cow.

... dumb cow?

... dumb cow?!

Tears finally fell uncontrollably down her face as she shoved him away from her with what little strength left in her hurting body.

"Stop being mean to Just Jeanne! What has she ever done to you?"

"..."

"First, you beat her up mercilessly... Not enough with that, here you bully her too!"

"..."

"How could you be so **heartless**?" She slumped in defeat. "She has nothing left already..."

"..."

God...

He knew he had been the worst kind of scum for so long, but he had never really felt like that as he did here. It also had never crossed his mind that the one who would make him feel this way was none other than the very person he could never stand. Nonetheless, that one sliver of good left in his heart compelled him to make up for his awful action.

"... I know I don't deserve forgiveness." He looked down in shame. "I could never make it up to you, but... if there's anything you want from me for all those unfair treatments, just tell me."

Honestly...

Deep down... he was such a sweet boy, wasn't he?

"Well, if you insist..." She couldn't help but smile shyly. "Just Jeanne still wants to live. She wants to enjoy life, but she doesn't really want to work, so... you must provide for her!"

"..."

"Like a husband!"

"..."

"... Please?" It was getting hard to keep her smile as her hopefulness faltered. "H- Husband?"

"... Forget it. You're going home."

/

He really had the worst of luck if the sad thing could even be called luck to begin with.

Turning away from the hopeless girl who had gone back to sleep again, he returned to work on drawing a set of particularly complex diagrams on the ground. It was meant to be one of the most crucial part of his new plan. He still had to do it as soon as possible despite the plan having gone awry already.

What a disappointment.

He had intended to use the girl as a pawn to do his bidding and secretly carry out his plan for him while Alaya's attention was focused on him. If all went well, no one would even suspect a thing until it was too late to stop the plan. But something had gone horribly wrong. His first attempt of using his Evil Eater on another had such a disappointing result. Instead of getting an obedient pawn, he ended up with a dumb girl in denial.

The worst possible incarnation of an already annoying saint.

Just Jeanne...

Perhaps that was her copping mechanism after all the traumas she suffered consecutively, but still... nothing could be dumber than that.

No matter.

It would not be as easy as he initially intended, but his plan was still a priority. Out of what little kindness he still had, he had decided to take the girl back to her home village first thing in the morning, but after that, he would begin to put everything in motion at last. That meant he needed to finish setting up this one most prudent part of the plan already.

The mysterious diagrams were completed soon enough, followed immediately by a not less mysterious incantation he uttered in a whisper. Nothing in particular happened for a while, but he knew that it worked quite well. And sure enough, a few moments later, an otherworldly presence arrived.

Admittedly, it was rather underwhelming as his eyes found a particularly grumpy-looking owl as it took perch upon a branch of the only still standing tree in the vicinity. Well, at the very least, this owl glowed a bit, meaning that it was no ordinary owl. Seriously, though, he knew well enough that this was just the one he wanted to meet.

"Greetings." His signature smile appeared easily. "... Avatar of Gaia?"

"... Rulebreaker."

"Oh? Never thought I'm well known enough to have a nickname..." His eyebrow rose innocently. "That one makes me sound like a delinquent, though."

"You're the worst kind of delinquent! The worst of the worst!" It looked even grumpier before calming down considerably. "However, Gaia's willing to hear you out since you've fallen too far out of Alaya's favor if nothing else."

Straight to the point.

"Thank you." He nodded in subtle approval. "I am here humbly offering an assistance to Gaia, anything, in return of a mere protection from Alaya's unavoidable sight and grasp."

By all means, that sounded perfectly fair.

Even the Avatar had to admit that it was definitely the kind of not meant to be dismissed offer. Aware enough of the Rulebreaker's capacity and potential, after a moment, It begrudgingly nodded.

"Very well. You will have such protection if only you agree to eliminate Alaya's strongest."

"You mean..." He blinked in disbelief. "The Beast of Alaya?! Why would I need a protection still if to get it, I have to offer myself on a platter to such a thing?"

"Foolish Rulebreaker! Beast of Gaia is there to face Beast of Alaya!"

"... Then who?"

"The undisputed strongest." Here, for some reason, It seemed to shudder in fear. "... The Antithesis."

Damn...

Just when he thought it couldn't be even worse...

The so called Rulebreaker involuntarily shuddered as well. And it was something that he recalled to have only ever happened when it came to none other than the one mentioned here. During his years in Alaya's realm, he had seen that particular Counter Guardian a few number of times. And each time, this utter sense of powerlessness always consumed him as if he stood before the Almighty Himself...

The deal was a must, however.

No compromise.

Desperate, he was forced to think hard and quick. Then, to his relief, he soon enough remembered having discovered something that might as well had been the most confidential secret for Alaya. In fact, if he played his cards right here, he might end up with a result better than he dared ever expect.

"Deal." He tried to hid the triumphant glint in his eyes. "I don't think it would be necessary for me to do it, though."

"... How come?"

"Only select few know this, but our undisputed strongest has been dying for a while now, beyond even Alaya's help."

"How?!"

"I don't know for certain." He shrugged innocently. "But if what I assume here is true that Gaia finally wishes to bring down Alaya once and for all, there's really no longer reason to hesitate."

He was really way too cunning for his own good, well, for everyone's good. Seriously, no one would ever think to evoke a never seen before war between the very two Counter Forces. And it was all just for the sake of his own plan. Then again, if the war did end up happening, he would have enough freedom during all the resulting chaos to freely move.

To break even more rules...

Meanwhile, the Avatar of Gaia was frustrated that despite knowing how dangerous this Rulebreaker was, It couldn't say he was lying. Even worse, his words admittedly seemed to make sense and indeed evoke a real idea of war. Though, for the moment, It should focus on the fact that a deal had been made here.

"It changes nothing, Rulebreaker. You will still receive Gaia's protection from here on in return for your agreement to eliminate Antithesis."

"Of course."

"If that's all -"

Suddenly, the grumpy owl jumped in surprise as a pitiful moan came from under the branch It comfortably perched upon.

A certain sleeping maiden with much difficulty had managed to finally get up. Her body still hurt, but the serious hunger couldn't be ignored any longer, waking her up rudely from her sleep. Her eyes quickly found a certain someone, but to her disappointment, he wasn't even looking at her. She dejectedly looked up to where he was staring at then only to find something that made her empty stomach growl. Her mouth began to water at what she saw.

"Poultry..."

That sounded quite disturbing for some reason, disturbing enough that the other two present stiffened in alarm until the one in human form gave her a look.

"... That's an owl."

"The poultry under those feathers..."

At that, the one in animal form stiffened even more, but it went ignored by the pair unfortunately.

"... That's not just any owl."

"Poultry is poultry."

"... That's the Avatar of Gaia in owl form."

"Still poultry."

"..."

There it was again, him looking at her as though she was dumb, but she was just too hungry here to complain about it.

"Husband, please..." She gave him such a pitiful look. "Just Jeanne has not eaten for days..."

"..."

He didn't know what came over him then, but he found himself looking back at his confederate sheepishly. Here they both looked at one another for a moment with the owl seemingly turning even grumpier if that was even possible.

"..."

"Uh... Avatar of Gaia?" He gulped nervously. "Could you please let this poor, hungry girl eat your current form? I mean, it's just a grumpy-looking owl. You could get a better one easily for sure, a griffon or even dragon!"

"..."

Said grumpy owl only gave the odd pair such a dreadfully unimpressed look.

Thankfully, after a long, tense silence, the otherworldly presence eventually vanished along with the glow, leaving a passed out owl falling down from the tree branch. The boy caught it easily, and it instantly put a wide grin on the girl's face. It didn't even cross their minds that she would be known in history as the only one to ever eat a Counter Force's Avatar.

/

Going back home.

It simply seemed surreal.

Back in the war, she had sometimes thought about it a bit at nights before falling sleep. It gave her a little hope, something to look forward to, even though she knew deep down it wouldn't happen. She had practically lost contact with home since she left. Her parents, she didn't even know how they had been doing. Maybe they had disowned her and moved on since she had not exactly left in good terms. It was also possible that they had already gone.

Honestly, she had been afraid to find out, afraid to face the past, even more so now that she had found a better reason for just wishing to move on herself and hopefully start anew.

Her husband...

Well, technically speaking, the boy was not exactly her husband. They were officially still no way close to being married yet, but it didn't really matter to her. It had easily become her favorite habit to call him husband despite his apparent annoyance. Maybe he was just being shy, seeing that she looked to be the older one of them. Though she was confident he would eventually come around once they made it official.

She really didn't want to lose him.

It was true that they had the worst start, but it had only been getting better and better since. During the days of their journey together, she had gotten to see that underneath his hard and often mean exterior, there was actually such a caring boy. Without much words, he always made sure she was safe and well cared for. It was also endearing how respectful and even thoughtful he was indirectly to her. She always felt like smiling every time she looked over the familiar red cloak on her body, and remembered how he told her to keep it, saying that he just didn't need to see her looking indecent.

He really cared.

If only he cared enough about giving them a chance...

She couldn't understand why he had come to such an unfair decision out of nowhere. It honestly made her feel depressed. After all, being sent back home was one of the worst nightmares for a wife. Then again, if she thought about it, she had not really given him enough reason to consider her as a good wife. Yes, she had not gotten well enough yet to please him much, but she could've at least presented herself better.

This might be her last chance.

Her home village was not that far away now from what she could remember.

This might be her last chance to prove her worth.

Determined, the wannabe wife scooted closer to her supposed husband, secretly trying to make them appear more like a real couple as they walked together, before nudging him with her good arm to get his attention.

"Just Jeanne is really not dumb. She's quite perceptive in fact. She can count pretty well too!"

"..."

"Once she gets better, she'll show that she's also a hard worker. Yes, yes, she said she doesn't want to work, but only for a living. That should be husband's responsibility in her opinion, while she stays home doing daily chores like a good housewife."

"..."

"She knows. It's kind of late for her to marry, being almost twenty. But it also means her figures have already developed well as a woman. Just look at her! She has such thick childbearing hips."

"..."

"And... And such big breasts! Husband, your children would never starve of milk if they have Just Jeanne as their mother!"

"..."

"..."

Oh Lord.

Why did it seem like she ended up trying to sell herself like a cow here?

A dumb cow... just like he had called her before.

Her step faltered a bit as she felt herself blushing madly at once. It was a good thing perhaps because she was too embarrassed to show her face to him right this moment. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, it also meant that she was missing the light but unmistakable reddening of his face too.

The pair fell into a rather awkward silence from that point on that lasted for the rest of the journey.

Then it slowly came into view.

Before she knew it, the peasant girl found herself poignantly looking over her birthplace. Here, standing on the hill overlooking the village, the still familiar sight of rundown roads and buildings she grew up around was clear enough to see. It unwillingly filled her with melancholy, making her unable to take any further step. Seeing this, her impassive companion touched her back to push her forward gently.

"Go."

"Husband?" She looked back desperately one last time. "Please..."

"... Take care."

Then, without another word, he turned around and just walked away, leaving her behind with a broken heart.

She had never felt so defeated...

Still, a good wife shouldn't go against her husband's wishes. With that thought in mind, she denied her own desperate wish to run after him, and forced herself to slowly walk back to the place she honestly could no longer call home. This end of the journey felt the most difficult somehow even though her body had felt much better than back at the start. But she had to go on as he wished her to, even at the cost of her feelings.

It took quite a while, but her weak, uncertain steps eventually brought her to an entrance to the village. Here she finally paid real attention to her surroundings as she heard hushed whispers coming from the villagers who had stopped to stare at her suspiciously. It made her feel uncomfortable for sure, but with a polite smile, she still tried to appear friendly.

"Good afternoon..."

No response at first, only more hushed whispers until even more villagers appeared. They started to get louder then, bolder, showing apparent hostility.

"Is that the crazy girl that used to live here?"

"It seems so... Anyone heard what happened in Rouen?"

"She's gone mad there, killed everyone, and burned down the whole place!"

"Hey now. The same could happen here too if she doesn't leave..."

"She must've become a real witch at last!"

"Just look at her hair now, dull and pale like ashes of the dead..."

"Quick! Someone go to the city and call some Templar!"

It was getting hard to bear, but then the crowd suddenly quieted down as a middle aged man who appeared to be some sort of figure in the village arrived. And almost immediately, he stopped short in recognition as his harsh gaze fell on the apparently unwanted newcomer.

"Jeanne? Why are you here?!"

"... Uncle?"

"Not anymore! You've been long disowned. Even your parents have already left out of shame for you!"

"S- Sorry!" Her eyes widened in shock. "She didn't -"

"Just leave!"

"But... She has nowhere -"

"Are you dumb?! Can't you see you're not wanted here?"

"..."

"No one's responsible for what happens if you refuse to leave."

As if on cue, the crowd got loud again, even louder than before. Hostile threats were given left and right, making things even worse for the poor girl who could only stand anxiously in place. Sadly, her helplessness seemed to only fuel their ire until it all inevitably led to a rock being thrown at her.

It hurt... more than just physically.

More and more rocks were thrown in her direction, making her stumble back in pain as some of them hit her still not yet well body. At least none of them were large enough to inflict serious injury. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time until a large one got thrown right at her. She was clearly in no condition to do anything about it, and could do nothing but close her eyes helplessly.

Strangely enough, the pain didn't come. Nothing hit her in fact. And for some reason, it had grown quiet all of a sudden.

Could it be that she finally died?

No such luck.

Her still hurting body proved as much, making her open her eyes warily only for them to widen fully in surprise. She felt like crying at the unexpected sight of a familiar broad back in a white shirt before her. And her voice, no matter how feeble it was, she could always count on it to say that one word.

"... Husband?"

"I'm here."

That was more than enough to instantly make her beam in hopefullness. Though he couldn't see it with his back to her. He seemed to be busy staring blankly at the large rock in his grasp before slowly looking up to glance over the shocked crowd.

"That's enough, people. Nothing more to see here."

How nice of him.

Unfortunately, his peaceful approach only seemed to provoke them for some stupid reason. They began to get loud again, but like before, they paused when the village figure decided to speak for them.

"And who are you, boy? Are you lost? Where are your parents?"

There were some snickers, but the boy paid no mind to them.

"Did you not hear what the girl said?"

"Heh. Then why don't you drag your dumb 'wife' out of here already?"

"Now, that's just rude." His all too familiar smile began to grow. "No one's allowed to call her dumb except for her evil husband."

"... You're sick, boy!" The man instinctively stepped back in alarm. "Get lost already!"

"No. You get lost. All of you."

Not so nice now.

"Or what?!"

Suddenly, the large rock in the boy's grasp shattered to pieces as his eerie smile made a full return.

"Or this whole village would end up like the rock obviously."

The danger he gave off with that alone was so palpable that even the crowd of regular civilians could sense it. It was a good thing that they were at least still sensible enough to not react foolishly. One after another, they all backed away hurriedly to the safety of the village without unnecessary words.

The unlikely pair was left alone at last.

Acting like he had not just threatened to wipe out a random village, the boy innocently shrugged before turning around to grab the girl's hand gently and be on their way again.

/

The sun had begun to set by the time the traveling pair decided to take a break at a small riverbank. There had not been much words between them since they reunited again. Even here, only the steady sound of flowing water filled the silence as they sat side by side none too closely together. The peacefulness of the place, complimented by the warm glow of the sunset, was just enough to keep their minds of the harsh reality even for a moment.

Small ripples broke the river's calm surface as the frail girl put her bare feet down into it and began to move them slowly back and fort.

"Look here." She smiled down bittersweetly at the water. "It would be nice to just drown here and leave everything behind..."

"It's too shallow. You would just stumble down dumbly like a cow only to wet yourself if you try."

"How mean!" The smile turned into a pout as she looked up. "Just Jeanne would really drown here now out of spite, and you could do nothing about it!"

"Really? What if I suddenly feel like getting myself a wife?"

How tempting...

In fact, she could already picture it here in her mind, standing in a pristine white gown before him on the alter of a nice church. He tried to look unimpressed as usual as he looked down at her face, only for a smile to appear on his face, betraying his intention. She beamed at him brightly, paying close to no attention to the surroundings and audiences. However, the view somehow began to shift out of her control until she no longer saw it in first person. It was in third person then that she found herself helplessly watching someone else in her place, someone prettier... better than her.

As it should be...

She smiled down again bittersweetly.

"You mean... another wife?"

"Another? I already have one?"

"Just Jeanne."

"Oh? What's she gonna say about it?"

There was a little pause as she pondered quietly.

"Find someone you could truly love..."

"... Like?"

Here, somehow, that 'someone else' appeared again in her mind.

"Hmm, some pretty... blue eyed blonde perhaps?" She chuckled weakly. "She has to be smart for sure. Unlike Just Jeanne..."

"Hmm, I just know someone who fits that description perfectly."

Ouch.

"Then leave Just Jeanne alone to drown, and go marry her already!"

"... Why does it seem like I'm being rejected here?"

That was enough to make her chuckle again, livelier this time, until the bittersweet look returned.

"Husband... Deep down, you're truly kind, the kindest Just Jeanne has ever met, even. She can say this wholeheartedly even after you beat her to a pulp."

"... Why does it seem like I'm some sort of abusive bastard now?!"

"Well, your wife here with her broken arm still thinks you're evil!" She pouted, but didn't look so convincing. "Even so... knowing husband better has made her realize that you can be evil but still kind at the same time no matter how dumb it sounds."

"..."

"The thing is, you deserve better than being burdened by Just Jeanne who's clearly broken beyond repair... She owes you all her gratitude, yes, and genuinely wishes to devote all her life to you, but she's afraid she'd just drag you down..."

"..."

The usual impassive look had returned to his face as he just silently let her express her feelings, and she honestly appreciated him for that.

"No matter how unfair it feels, Just Jeanne knows she deserves this fate. For once, she'll admit that she's been so dumb all along. In her delusion to achieve something beyond only human's capability, she has forgotten that she's just a girl who has the right to live as she wishes too. Lord has given this life to her, so it makes no sense that He would be happy to see her throw it away even in His name for some grandeur they call sacrifice."

"..."

"However... it was just wrong of her to wish to live so madly that she turned mad for real until it costed the lives of many others."

A real dumb girl could never have such a deep reflection of herself just like she did. He had to admit that. Not that he would just go easy on her here.

"You were really dumb. Seriously, how dumb could you be to just so gullibly listen to some unknown, laughably suspicious voices not only once, but twice?"

"Uh... Donkey level at least?"

It took effort not to snort at that.

"Looking at the bigger picture, however, you're just another victim of fate. It's simply unfair for an innocent girl who was giving her all to make a difference to meet a tragic end in return. It's even more unfair for that same girl to be played around like some cheap toy just because she still had a fragile wish to live by that point." Here, he sighed reservedly. "Then again, in this world, it's perfectly fair for fate to find amusement in unfairness."

There was a meaningful silence as she readily gave a soft but wholehearted nod to his words until she eventually looked up with a wishfully bittersweet look.

"It shouldn't have to be that way if only there was real fairness in the world. With it, everyone who does good will have good result whilst everyone who does bad will have bad outcome, no exception. That way, everyone will naturally strive to be better, and if everyone is good, there might even be no more necessary need for order. Everyone could have a fair chance to just freely live and be happy..." Here, she sighed wishfully. "It would be a... **paradise**."

... Was this really happening?

It truly felt like some kind of revelation as he suddenly found himself wholly awestruck by the supposedly dumb girl. He was no way being cheesy here, no way in hell. However, he couldn't deny what this no more impressive than usual sight of her elicited in him right this moment. It was quite alarming really because it came to the point that he even felt like kneeling down to her in some kind of worship...

Damn.

Oh fuck it!

The confused boy unexpectedly knelt down for real on one knee, offering his hand to the girl sitting dreamily.

"Let me take you there."

"Huh? Where?"

"Let me take you to that paradise, Just Jeanne!"

Cringe.

"Husband... are you well?" She blinked at him worriedly, dumbly. "... Or just being dumb?"

"..."

"Such a place doesn't exist. Even Just Jeanne knows it's nothing more than a dumb fantasy."

To her pleasant surprise, however, here he gave her exclusively a genuine, hopeful smile.

"Let's build one then." Confidently, he took her good hand himself. "Together."

Really now...

It only sealed the deal.

No matter how dumb he had apparently become all of a sudden, she would follow this evil husband of hers to the end of the world and beyond.

* * *

**Ha! Shirou becomes dumb himself ******in the end**. It's not completely dumb, though. He becomes that way only after finding Jeanne's fantasy coincidentally to be a clearer and just overall better version of his vision for the world. This is after all the story of a damned boy challenging fate, giving his all, breaking rules, setting off an apocalyptic war, and becoming the enemy of the whole world just to build a paradise for a broken girl he supposedly despised. That's why this isn't tagged as romance!  
**

**Feel free to ask any questions you may have. This author loves answering questions****** even the dumb ones**! Right, Just Jeanne? "**Just Jeanne is not dumb!**"**


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